Disclaimer:
I am about to rip this movie to pieces. If for some absurd reason you want to
see this movie, don’t read this review. It’s full of spoilers and it will be
long.
Genre: Action, military, terrorism, American Hero porn.
Links
for basic information on the movie:
I
am going to jump straight into this movie. I’ll be honest, this is one of the
worst movies I have ever seen and I have no reservations about that statement.
Concept:
Imagine
that a secret service agent falls from grace after failing to keep the President’s
wife alive. Then some years later, imagine that same agent has to save the
President from Korean terrorists who got into his bunker because he’s an idiot.
Imagine that these Korean terrorists smuggle themselves, weapons, steal U.S.
prototypes and hold the entire government of the United States at their whim
and it is up to Gerard Butler to save the day! That’s pretty much the entire
movie. It follows the action movie formula so closely; one might think the
producers of this film were mocking the genre. If only that was true. It’s two
hours of Gerard killing Korean people in gruesome, but pretty awesome ways.
Characters:
Before
introducing the characters, I would like to point out that everyone in movie is
complete moron except for our hero and Korean terrorist leader.
Mike
Banning: Former secret service agent who used to protect the president,
licensed badass, protagonist of the film, and one two intelligent people in the
film.
President
Asher: the man who is the President of the United States. He no idea how to run
his country and should’ve died at the end.
Connor:
Son of the idiot President. Probably the second coolest character in this movie
and definitely the smartest. He hides in the secret tunnels of the White House
to avoid the Korean terrorists and helps Mike take them out. The kid should be
President, the movie would be totally different.
Speaker
Trumbell: Speaker of the House (acting President for most of the movie). Also,
an idiot, but every once in while shows a hint of intelligence. Doesn’t how to
do his job either.
Kang:
Leader of the Korean Terrorists. He is the other smart person in this film, but
only comparatively since everyone else in this movie has the intelligence of a
three year old.
Secretary
of Defense McMillain: She is pretty much a bad ass. Kang almost beats her to
death, yet she will not surrender her code. Until Idiot President Asher tell
her to give it to them. She listens to him, thus, she too is idiot.
I’ll
into specifics at the plot section, but the characters destroy this movie. All
actions movies try to paint the hero in best light possible. He or she will be
the smart badass that has a sixth sense about dangerous situations. They can
take down a whole battalion soldiers by themselves. This is normal, but Olympus
has Fallen tries way too hard. I kid you not, every other good guy in this
movie is mentally challenged. The “twists” in the movie can be seen from a mile
away, yet none of characters besides Mike (Gerard’s character) see them coming.
Read on and you’ll find out.
Story/Plot:
Actions
movies are not smart. They expect the viewers to suspend their belief to
certain extent. That’s fine, as long as it’s within reason. In movies like Aliens,
I have to do it because there weird black creature that have acid for blood.
So, why is this movie different? The answer lies in plot. Action flicks don’t
need to be thought provoking, but movie makers can’t assume their audience is
in the middle of a stroke for two hours. I’ll go through all the major points
of this movie.
Okay,
the movie opens. Mike is with the secret service protecting President Asher and
his family as the head towards a charity ball. The road is snowy…disaster
strikes as a tree falls in front of the lead car. It crashes into the side railing,
dangling over a river. Mike has to save the President and Connor, but the First
Lady dies a terrible frozen death. Mike is dishonored and kicked out of the
secret service.
A
year and some later, Mike is working in the treasury office, lamenting about
his boring life with his wife, who is a doctor (not important to the movie at
all). It’s normal day, a bunch of Korean people getting off a bus, an old
AC-130 is flying over DC air space. An F-22 requests a flight check….the plane
doesn’t respond. Suddenly, 50. Cal Gatling guns bust out of the sides and shoot
the jets down. They start shooting people on the street as it circles the White
house.
Meanwhile,
the South Korean Prime Minister is meeting with the President. When the attack
begins all the diplomats are rushed down to the White House bunker, Prime
Minister and his security team are included. This is where the stupidity
begins. The idiot President demands that the Korean P.M. and his security team
be brought down with them. This would never happen, even if President ordered
it. Maybe the South Koran P.M., but not his security team. The bunker under the
White House is supposed to be his safe room, not his grave. The President’s
stupidity is essential for the rest of the movie to continue. It’s way too
forced.
Mike
starts doing Gerard Butler things: saving people from getting shot, dodging
bullets in slow motion, yelling for people to get out of the way, etc. So given
that the entire U.S. Government is caught off guard, the plane is shot down.
Then the bus of Korean people turns out to be terrorist commandoes that assault
the White House Grounds. The Secret service responds. But, wait! There’s more.
The Korean terrorists smuggled heavy machine guns in garbage trucks to take out
everyone! And they succeed. Every single Secret Service agent comes running out
to the White House door, even after the guns are tearing shit up. Like moths to
a flame. By the end of the scene every agent is dead, except Mike. This is
barely thirty minutes into the movie. But, I suspend my belief about all this,
thus far. Maybe the Korean Terrorists are really good at what they do. Maybe
the U.S. customs is full of incompetents. Whatever.
Then
the movie goes off the deep end. It turns out the South Korean P.M.’s security
team is really the leaders of the terrorists. Go fucking figure, so shocking--gag
me with a spoon! Now the President is a hostage, in his own bunker. “Oh, but
Stumbling Critic the President didn’t know. He’s a good guy. You can blame him.”
I can and do blame him. If President Asher had half a brain, there wouldn’t be
any more movie to watch. The great part is, it just keeps on getting more
stupid.
The
makeshift government, led by Morgan Freedman (Speaker of the House), makes
contact with the terrorists. Kang kills the South Korean P.M. and demands the
U.S. call off the 7th fleet and remove troops from the DMZ, so the
civil war can continue. To be honest, this was a really interesting villain
motivation. If the rest of this movie wasn’t rubbish, they could have taken
that plot line somewhere. So the good guys sit there with their thumbs up their
asses wondering what they will do, who will save them?
Have
no fear, Gerard Butler is here. Mike sneaks into the White House and makes
contact with the Pentagon. In the typical action movie fashion, the four star
general doesn’t trust our hero. Don’t
worry though Mike is friends with the female Secret Service Director. She
assures them that he can be trusted. Mike continues to do Gerard Butler things
like, killing bad guys, saving Connor, etc. Fine, fair enough.
While
Mike is off doing his thing, Kang and his crew are trying to find the passwords
to something called the Cerberus System. Oh, what is that you ask? Let me tell
you, I’ll you all hint it involves nukes. Here the breakdown:
·
It is a completely self-enclosed system.
Only three people know the passwords: the President, The Secretary of Defense,
and Chief of Staff.
·
The system can detonate nukes early, in
case one is misfired by U.S.
·
The control panel is in the White House
Bunker.
·
The Pentagon has the shutdown password,
but they don’t have a console that can access the system.
·
This system can detonate all the nuclear
weapons in the entire country at the same time.
Why
is any of this a problem? Well, I don’t know maybe because all three people
that know the passwords work in the same building and go to the same place in
emergencies. Conceivably, they all can be kidnapped at the same time. Oh, wait
they were. No one can stop it from the outside because there is only one
control panel. So, if the terrorists were in the bunker they could destroy the
entire country. But, that’s impos--oh wait, they are there. Wonder how that
happened? Whoever thought this system was good idea, should be eaten alive by
rabid squirrels. It is the stupidest system I have ever heard of in any movie.
So,
of course, the baddies are willing to kill to obtain the passwords. The
President orders the Chief of Staff to give the terrorists his password, so
they don’t kill him. The guy gives it. Secretary Ruth is hard nut to crack.
Kang and his thugs beat her within an inch of her life. She gives a rather
stunning speech about how she will never give Kang her password. She will die
if they continue to beat her. It is the most dramatic moment in the movie. If
this scene had gone differently, the whole moive would have been redeemed for
me. Right after she finishes, Idiot Asher orders her to give them her password.
He says, “They’ll never get mine.” There is a lot of irony in that statement.
Instead of being awesome, she follows his orders. Her entire speech was just
rendered pointless. I have never seen a movie exhibit such idiocy.
Meanwhile,
the Pentagon still has their thumbs up their asses; trying to find a way to
save the president. Mike focuses on stopping the terrorists since he saved
Connor already. Eventually, the Koreans get Hydra 6 online. According to the
four star general, that weapon is a next-gen remote controlled machine turret
with all sorts of good weapons on it. Despite this, the general sends in six
black hawk helicopters with soldiers in them to hit the White House from above.
Our hero strongly states the Pentagon should wait, but they don’t. Carnage
ensues. Freeman finally calls the attack off when most of the solders are dead
and the four star ass-wipe gets a good earful. . Good job buddy.
The
Pentagon decides to pull the seventh fleet out and give in to the terrorist’s
demands. Why? At some point the acting President would make stopping the
Cerberus System a priority and let Asher get killed. Kang finally gets all of
the passwords because they hacked the last one. See the irony now? Kang decides
it’s time to leave and tries to fake his death.
Everyone except Mike is fooled. In addition, Kang sets the system to
detonate all of the nukes while they are still in their silos. Everyone in the
Pentagon is shocked. How could he? What else was Kang going to do? Just leave
them alone? I mean Sweet Mother of Mary why is anyone surprised? Oh wait, I
forgot, everyone in this movie is a moron. But don’t worry, Gerard Butler will
save the day. Long story short he does.
Special Effects:
The
action scenes are the only saving grace for this movie. I have no complaints in
this area. The final fight between Kang and Mike was intense. All of the
violence was visceral and gory. Gerard Butler single-handed takes out all of
the bad guys. He stabs Kang in the head. If you are going to watch this movie
just for the action, you won’t be disappointed. There were a lot of big names
in this film; no one’s acting was bad, but not good either.
Conclusion:
I
admit that I might be cutting this movie short, but I don’t think so. I have
never seen a movie that so brutally insults the intelligence of its audience.
Suspending one’s belief when watching any fiction is necessary, but Olympus has Fallen tries to be
ridiculous and realistic at the same time. It expects me to believe that everyone,
except Mike, has a brain tumor causing severe retardation. The plot “turns” can
be seen from outer space. The one moment that could have redeemed this movie
was completely ruined. This whole movie is garbage, end of story.
Score:
4/10
